My Amazing Homestay Experience

My homestay experience was great. Our host mom was more than happy to take us places during the weekend since we were busy with research or shadowing at UTH throughout the week. There isn’t one specific memory I have so I’m gonna talk about most of them.

I remember how during the first week at the homestay, I would try to eat everything Odess made because I didn’t want to be read. I’m really picky about what I eat; there are many things I don’t like in my food, mayonnaise is probably at the top of the list. I wasn’t sure of how to tell her that I didn’t like what she was making but at the same time if I didn’t say anything, she would continue making food that I would feel forced to eat. It was difficult for me because my mom knows what I like and what I don’t like and now I was living with a new family, who were used to making certain foods and everyone was expected to eat it. As I got more comfortable, it became easy for me to politely decline certain veggies or other foods and thankfully Odess understood. She even started making jokes about me being so picky since Libby would pretty much eat all the foods I wouldn’t.

During the second week, one of Odess’ friends invited her to a kitchen party and she extended that invitation to Libby and me. I was so excited to go because Mira and I had done our presentation on weddings so we read about kitchen parties. The Friday night before, when we went to that restaurant as a group, I got extremely nauseous afterwards and I was sick all night and throughout Saturday, so I had to stay home. On Sunday I was feeling a little better so Odess took us all to a reptile farm. It was a long drive so she talked to us about her husband and where they want to move in the future. We spent the whole day at the reptile farm and came back home around 5pm. We ended up eating nshima and watching our Bollywood shows on ZeeWorld.

The following weekend, we went to an elephant orphanage. I sat in the back of the car with one of the babies in my lap. We took some photos (because I realized that we didn’t have any photos as a family). It was nice because the whole family came with us. It reminded me of going out with my mom and my sister.

When we wanted to buy souvenirs and chitenge for our families, Odess was the biggest help. She took us back to Kamwala market and we were able to buy chitenge for 25 kwacha rather than 50 (which is what most stores were charging). She even took us to Kabwata Cultural Village and bargained prices down for us. We told her which ones we wanted, gave her our money and she negotiated the prices. There were two necklaces I wanted and the guy told Odess 60 kwacha for each. She bargained with him and ended up paying 15 for each instead.

Anytime Odess would make us dinner or take us out somewhere I would always say thank you and one day after dinner, Odess said ‘we’re all family, you don’t have to say thank you.’ I continued to thank her though for everything because she has no idea how much she had a positive influence on my experience. The Friday morning we left, I hugged everyone goodbye and it was sad because I had gotten used to the noise the kids made almost every night and talking to my host sisters before I went to bed. I think my homestay experience would’ve been so different if Odess hadn’t taken care of us the way she did. Welcoming a stranger with open arms makes all the difference.

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Zambia Blog Post 3

James Hickling

            Looking back on my time in my homestay, I can confidently say it was a positive experience. My host family was accommodating, friendly, helpful, and full of character. Living with a working class family has opened my eyes to a whole side of Zambian life that I otherwise would not have been able to experience. While living in Abundant Life has its benefits as well, it is in the heart of ex-pat Kabulonga and does not offer the same authentic experience. Traveling through woodlands to Nyumba Yanga, I have struck up conversations with people on the street, or gotten stares from school children muttering “Muzungu” to one another. The neighborhood had a bustling, but friendly feel to it, and I will remember it as the most pure form of the Lusaka experience.

            Having conversations with my host family at night has also given me a window into the lives of the average Zambian that is invaluable. I feel like I really got to know them, as well as the life of the modern Zambian, a distinct fusion of traditional culture and adaptation to modern technology and international culture. My host brother, Divine, is at the age where he says everything that comes to his mind, and I have enjoyed playing with him and his baby sister Taonga.

            Despite the homestay being over, I hope to continue to reinforce the relationships that I have built, and even later today Nathan and I are visiting the house to give Enala, our host mother, a cake for her birthday.

            My host family has also served a more practical, helpful role of helping to orient me in this country. They tell me of the proper minibus toll and where the stops are, how to navigate certain parts of the city, as well as general information that is useful to a foreigner such as colloquial Nyanja and a friendly cab driver’s contact information.

            Enala’s homecooked meals have shown me authentic Zambian food, and I can honestly say that I have slowly honed an efficient technique for eating Nshima and not looking ridiculous. By being immersed in the culture, I feel more close to the Zambian people, and better understand the daily struggles and pleasures of their lives. I also feel that their struggles are also the struggles of people in so many other countries across the globe. Raising a family, finding a good job, doing well in school, looking after their health and one hundred other things that cross the minds of mothers and fathers across the world.

            I hope that Brian and Enala continue to welcome Cornell students into their homes and give them the same wonderful experience that I have had, furthering a more interconnected world and the creation of global citizens.

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Coming back from Livingstone it didn’t really occur to me that we wouldn’t be going back to our homestays. When we left on Friday it didn’t sink in that we wouldn’t be coming back after the long weekend. On the bus ride, home today it became real that we weren’t just going to take a bus to Chilenje and walk through that gate we walked through every day. I missed walking in and immediately being greeted by Nicky hugging me saying he missed me while Mauquease rounds the corner at top speed to hug us. I missed walking in and finding Christine and Mutinta in the kitchen and Odess with the babies in the sitting room watching one of the many Zee World soap operas. I became so used to living there that it feels somewhat empty here at abundant life.

There isn’t one specific memory that defines my experience at my homestay. It would be an injustice to simplify my past few weeks with my family into one memory. However, what I can generalize and what I can take with me along with my many memories is the ease with which they took me in. I remember asking Odess why she decided to take in two host children and she responded, “I was once hosted myself and I am so thankful for them and for the experience that I had and I wanted to do the same.” She also joked that when they asked her to host some students she responded, “give me 4.”

Leaving the homestay, I am so incredibly grateful that she decided to take us in and for the time we had there. I have not really been homesick until now but instead of just missing my family back home I found myself missing my family in Chilenje. It was surprising to me that just spending 4 weeks in someone’s home could I grow to miss them when I leave. The homestay has been arguably the most meaningful part of this trip. Not only did it allow me to really experience the life and culture in Zambia, but it also allowed me to form really meaningful relationships. Living in someone else’s home gives you a different perspective, I could see life in Lusaka through their lives rather than through my perspective as a visitor. The most important thing I got from the homestay is a sense of belonging. My family made me feel comfortable in this new city, they made me feel like a part of their family. They allowed me to feel comfortable in a completely uncomfortable and new place.

It makes me sad that I won’t be living with them anymore but that only makes me realize how important it will be to keep in touch and reach out and visit them while I still can. I find myself thinking when is the next time I can go see them. Looking back, I already know that the time I spent with them and the memories I have with them will be the most meaningful part of this trip for me. I am so thankful for Odess, Christine, Mutinta, Nicky, Mauquease, Christian, and Rema and how they shaped my experiences here in Zambia. I can see why she spoke so fondly of her own host parents likely because she had a similar experience. It’s one thing to host someone in your home but it’s another thing to make someone feel like they belong and to feel like a part of the family. I felt like I belonged and I think that’s the hardest part about leaving.

Blog Post 3

As the homestay experience comes to an end, I find myself feeling more upset than I thought I would. It’s amazing how in the matter of a few weeks, I became very close to my host mom and host sisters. Initially, I felt really uncomfortable and out of place at my homestay because I was kind of homesick and I missed my family. However, after a few days and some long and deep conversations with my host mom, I found myself feeling so at home in the homestay. Getting into a routine was also really helpful in helping me adjust to the new living situation. Last night, Tiffany and I want to our homestay to pick up our luggage and have dinner and we kept talking about how much we are going to miss coming home to Linda and the girls because Abundant Life just doesn’t feel like home yet to us.

I think that the homestay experience has been one of the areas in the program where I have learned the most. It has been such an enriching and rewarding experience. With my host mom, I learned so much about Zambian traditions and culture. She taught me and Tiff how to cook nshima, soup, and vegetables and told us about Zambian traditions. She also taught me a lot of Nyanja, which has been really fun to use around Lusaka. Aside, from all of these experiences, I think my favorite part of the homestay experience has just been how strong of a bond I have formed with my homestay family. I feel like I want to come back to Lusaka again soon so that I can visit them again. We are planning on having weekly dinners at the house so that we can stay in touch. I feel like leaving Lusaka in a couple of weeks is going to be so difficult because it will be like leaving a part of my family behind. I never thought I would say this at the beginning of the program, but I am definitely going to miss my little host sisters as well because we got so close over the period of a few weeks. They truly feel like my real sisters now!

I honestly think that my favorite memory from the homestay was dancing with my host mom and host sisters in the garden as traditional Zambian music was blasting out of the car. It was such a spontaneous activity, but it was definitely one of the times that I have felt the happiest here. This memory is something which I will probably keep with me forever because it was just one of those moments when I really felt like I fit into the family and I would be able to adopt this new family as my own. For someone who was a little homesick at the beginning of the trip, this moment was a huge breakthrough for me. Also, I am normally a fairly quiet and reserved person, and I would usually never start spontaneously dancing in public. However, Linda and the girls really pushed me out of my comfort zone and made me do something (which I ended up loving) which I never would have done before coming to Zambia. This is just an example of one of the biggest things the homestay taught me, which was that it is good to sometimes go out of your comfort zone and have new experiences. During my time here, I feel like my homestay family and my roommate have really instilled this lesson in me, and it is something which I am definitely going to take back with me to the States. Going out of my comfort zone has been so rewarding so far and  I feel like have learned so much and I am happier with myself now, than I was before this trip. For this, I am truly grateful that the homestay experience is a part of this program.

The Homestay: An Unforgettable Experience

“Your name is now Tiffany Mubiana, because you will forever be a part of this family and you will always have a home here in Chalala”.

These were the words uttered by my host mom, Linda, last night right before moving me into abundant life and they reflect the mutual feelings I never would have expected to experience at the end of these short, four weeks. During the course of just a few weeks, I found sisters (ones I never had) in Nandila and Thokoziele, a mom in Linda, and a place I can call home in Chalala. While we received the basic living necessities- food, water, a bed to sleep in, a roof over our heads- we were also showered with love and endless support during the chaos of the past four weeks.

I couldn’t count how many late night conversations there have been, that stretched for hours on end, during which Linda shared her wisdom on life, love, happiness, and what it means to embrace who you are. I couldn’t possibly put into words how transformative those conversations have been, especially during such a precarious time in my life. I would be an injustice to attempt to identify “the one” experience, lesson, or memory I will take away from my time with my family in Chalala- simply because every minute, every second, and every moment has affected who I am now and how I perceive things around me, and I am not the same Tiffany that walked through the door of that house just four weeks ago.

I know that sounds dramatic, and perhaps a bit corny- but it’s true. Coming into Zambia just four weeks ago, I would consider myself to have been “lost”- whether I knew it or not. The reason I can recognize it now, is because of this brilliant clarity I have gained during my time in Chalala. From (successfully) learning to cook Nshima with “the soup” and ground peanut greens, and the endless shared laughter with Thokoziele and Nandila after a stressful day at work, to listening to Linda’s wisdom and insight on everything (literally, everything- this woman is brilliant), I can say that I have never felt such happiness in my entire life.

Therefore, I suppose if I needed to put my finger on “the one” thing I will take away from my homestay experience, (although even just the term “homestay experience” completely undermines the significance of these past four weeks) it would be the intense clarity I feel regarding the direction of my life and the overwhelming happiness that the past four weeks, with my family, have brought me. Because of this, the homestay experience will also continue to serve as a reference point for the rest of my life, particularly when things get difficult, in remembering how it felt to be genuinely happy and whole- and I think that is the greatest gift I could have received from this experience.

While this is certainly not the last time I will be back in Zambia, and likely not the last time I will be staying with my family in Chalala (as Linda  is currently in the process of seeking out a Zambian husband for me and simultaneously planning my kitchen party to be at her house), I will always remember my initial four weeks as the time during which I found my home in Chalala- and that discovery will be something I will remember for the rest of my life.