Monday, July 10, 2017

My place - Blog post 3

My place

“Do you ask your parents before you come home?” George and I sat alone on a living room couch, passing an auxiliary cord back and forth to show each other our favorite songs.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“When you visit home after being away at school, what do you say when you call? Do you just tell them ‘See you on Friday’ or do you ask whether you can come?”
I thought about it. I wasn’t expecting the question. “I guess I usually ask”
George fidgeted with the bookmark of the novel between us. “Some parents here get mad if you ask. Because its home. You don’t need permission to come to your own place.”

The night before we left for Livingstone, Karl and I asked Auntie Sharon whether we could come back to spend the night before we began our August trip to Botswana. “Don’t ask.” She said. I knew what she meant.

I know I run the risk of sounding stale and cliché as I write that my homestay has become my home. But I don’t care. I’ve come to love the Wamalume family like my own and though the group bonding at abundant life is well-needed, I’m sad to go.

It doesn’t take a very extensive knowledge of world affairs to know that a country is more than a patch of land inside a few lines. It’s a set of people – people who, to some extent, agree on values and dreams and interpretations of history. To know a country but not its people is to not know a country.

For a month, I took the interminable Lilayi minibus to a house just beyond the reach of the daily Lusaka hubbub not just so I could get to know this country’s people, but so I could find a home with them. So I could, even if only in my mind, call these people my own. And the Wamalume’s made this an easy endeavor.

When I think of Zambia, I’ll recall my moments in Lilayi, play them over and over again in my head like the 5 songs on my elementary school MP3 player.

I’ll remember that first ride home when I sat in the back of the Mitsubishi, waiting for my turn to answer the small talk questions and hoping for a chance to crack a joke or prove I’m personable. And I’ll remember forgetting all about myself and who I made myself out to be when I watched Mr. Wam jump around at the mall after receiving a notification that he’d sold one of his chickens.

I’ll remember all the football games with Ntemba and the four or five batches of brownies and learning the Lungu reverse and the fact that Mr. Wam would always come home at night and ask for his “Legal Consultant” when he wanted to find and greet me.

I’ll remember riding to work with Mrs. Wam, listening to “Stuck on You” from the CD player as we passed rows of cement sellers and coal makers, all the while discussing the skills she’d teach the women Karl and I marry one day (anyone who pays attention at the Wamalume house knows by now that if I’m worth my weight in ground nuts, I’ll be sure to one day take my wife to Lusaka and tell – not ask – the family accommodate us).


The memories are vivid, and even now I hope to go back to my new home and create a few more. Within the next few days I plan to do just that, to visit while I can. But regardless of how often I see the Wamalume’s before I return to America, I’ll look back on my time in Zambia not as a trip to an unfamiliar land, but as an abbreviated stay at a place where I am loved and cared for and made comfortable. I’ll look back on Zambia and call it my own place – call it home.

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